My first STD was from a foam party
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
