and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
