Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
