why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
