Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize