And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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