I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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