mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize