i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
