i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
