To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
