She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
