I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
