that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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