ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize