This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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