Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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