When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
