the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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