Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
