Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize