Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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