she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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