Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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