Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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