im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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