I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
