Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
