does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
