I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
