is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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