so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
