Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
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