Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize