Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
