I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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