piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
