who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
