hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Randomize
