I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
