I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
