A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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