So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize