I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
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I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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