this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
