I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
