i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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