You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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