What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I cut my penus on the lid.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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