I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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