He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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