Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
