you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize