im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize