...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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