I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
