He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
