Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
