don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
