yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
