I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
