No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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