drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
