Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
