are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
