This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I've blown a few things in my day
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
